If you've ever put anything inside yourself and gotten it out again without needing medical attention: Congratulations! Things went way better for you than they did for so many other poor souls. This is a tribute to American ingenuity, American perseverance, and above all else, American recklessness.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and always remember that a flared base is your best friend. Plmc-4 Four-Station Impulse Fatigue Performance Tester

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year? | Defector

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

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